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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:51 am 
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'BUTTON COMPLAINS ABOUT OVERSTEER'
- Jenson Button claims his 2013 struggles are caused by the McLaren's tendency to oversteer. The 2013 Mclaren was designed to avoid the chronic understeer problems he had suffered previously, but seemingly it is now too much the other way. Meanwhile Sergio Perez says 'the Mclaren is a beautiful car to drive, for sure.'

'BARRICHELLO ADMITS DEFEAT'
- Rubens Barrichello finally gives up on an F1 return, and instead takes up a commentary role for Brazilian TV. Pedro Diniz joins alongside him as a comedy, Eddie Jordan style sidekick.

'ROSBERG SHAVES HEAD FOR CHARITY'
- Nico Rosberg has his blonde locks shaved in support of an alopecia charity, sparking a trend among German women to follow suit.

'BERNIE ADMITS HE WAS WRONG'
- After more security scares in Bahrain and poor attendances in Korea, Bernie Ecclestone admits he was wrong to prioritise them over more popular European races. He also announces a reduced hosting fee for the Australian, Canadian and British Grand-Prixs, whilst handing a long-term multi-year deal for Spa.

'MALDONADO SCORES 10TH CONSECTUTIVE POINTS FINISH'
- The 7th place Pastor Maldonado scored at the Hungaroring was the Venezuelan's 10th consecutive points finish. This leaves him an impressive 8th in the Driver's Standings, with 74 points, and has helped his Williams team to an unlikely 5th Place with 110 points, Ahead of 6th placed Mclaren and just behind 4th Placed Mercedes.

'RAIKKONEN RECEIVES 1-RACE SUSPENSION'
- After a string of 1st lap incidents, and causing a serious first corner incident at the Belgian Grand-Prix, Kimi Raikkonen has received a 1-Race ban. Meanwhile team-mate Romain Grosjean has received praise by both drivers and officials for his impeccable disciplinary record.

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Pick 10 Competition:
2013 - 10th Place - Winner of the Nico Hulkenberg Trophy and Mystic Eddie Jordan's Crystal Ball
2014 - 9th Place - Winner of the Nico Hulkenberg Trophy


Pick 10 Podiums:
1st Place: USA 2012, Japan 2013
3rd Place: China 2014


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:56 am 
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Hamilton and Alonso fans sign peace treaty on PF1 forum.

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My own Google Earth Motor Sport file. http://www.mediafire.com/?jzm1ieatytv
Follow me @asphalt_world
Oh and Bernie, National flags should be raised not flipped. Sort it!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:52 am 
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Coulthard: This won't be my year.

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1994 1995 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 Get well soon Schumi.

No one call anyone a moo-pickle...


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:20 pm 
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"F1 drivers admit they shouldn't be earning the huge amount of money they do"

"Hamilton admits he is not as fast a driver as people think he is"

"WDC winner ........ admits he really isn't a deserving Champion"

"Ferrari say that they don't really care about the WDC or the WCC"


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:26 pm 
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* KIMI CARES *

In a recent press conference, Kimi broke down crying and admitted that actually he does care what people think.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:32 pm 
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joshb wrote:
Webber- KERS made the difference

Mark Webber admitted having KERS was the reason why he pipped teammate Sebastian Vettel, whose unit failed, to pole position.


:lol: Winner!

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I'm a racing driver. Always was, always will be.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:33 pm 
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A2jdl wrote:
* KIMI CARES *

In a recent press conference, Kimi broke down crying and admitted that actually he does care what people think.

:lol: I can just picture it now, a beautiful heart wrenching moment from the iceman.

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"You are the universe expressing itself as a Human for a little while..."


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:54 pm 
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Have not read all posts (will do it later, lot of fun here ;)) so maybe someone already come up with something similar... Anyway, here goes :D.

"TURN IN CRASHGATE SCANDAL"
- Nelson Piquet Jr reveals that his crash at the Singapore GP in 2008 was all his doing and no one else was involved. "I wanted to help Alonso as he was on fire that weekend" - he says. He adds that when Renault found about this, Flavio Briatore was disgusted and sacked Piquet Jr only to be later accused by him of fixing the entire crash. "It was just a revenge" says Piquet. Briatore also adds that "he will never accept unsporting and unfair behaviour from his team, especially drivers".

"RED BULL PRODUCE DOG OF A CAR"
- After horrible pre-season tests, RED BULL did not fulfil a 107% rule in qualifying to Australian GP but was allowed to race anyway based on their past seasons performances. This ended in a catastrophe as 'late-confirmed-for-Marussia' Narain Karthikeyan crashed from lead into Vettel while he was about to lap him third time. This handed victory to Charles Pic who was running a comfortable 2nd at that time. "I don't know how this 'cucumber' was allowed to race" said Narain.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 1:57 pm 
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jammin78 wrote:
A2jdl wrote:
* KIMI CARES *

In a recent press conference, Kimi broke down crying and admitted that actually he does care what people think.

:lol: I can just picture it now, a beautiful heart wrenching moment from the iceman.

:lol:

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Keep Fighting Michael!

Forza Jules!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 1:58 pm 
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'BUTTON EMBROILED IN TWITTER ROW'
- After seeing Perez go half a second quicker in qualifying with new aero parts, Jenson Button took to twitter to air his frustrations, posting an image of confidential team telemetry.

_________________
Pick 10 Competition:
2013 - 10th Place - Winner of the Nico Hulkenberg Trophy and Mystic Eddie Jordan's Crystal Ball
2014 - 9th Place - Winner of the Nico Hulkenberg Trophy


Pick 10 Podiums:
1st Place: USA 2012, Japan 2013
3rd Place: China 2014


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:07 pm 
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IT WAS LIKE WEARING A MASK FOR YEARS
Kimi Räikkönen just didn't stop talking in this 90-minute exclusive interview with Oprah. "I had to tell the world about my feelings" he added with a smile on his face.

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How to fix F1:
1. Stop seeking consensuses on rules - it will always turn out to be the least favourible option for everyone involved...
2. Listen to the fans - there are plenty of them and they have good ideas...


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:10 pm 
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ohh... wait... what about:

BREAKING NEWS!!! Mercedes sells struggling F1 team to Honda.

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How to fix F1:
1. Stop seeking consensuses on rules - it will always turn out to be the least favourible option for everyone involved...
2. Listen to the fans - there are plenty of them and they have good ideas...


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:16 pm 
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Red Bull Racing were embroiled in yet another technical controversy last weekend when they were accused of blowing the exhaust of the car using hot gases, a practice now ruled to be illegal. Team sources insist that the sounds coming from the rear are actually coming from Vettel, leading rival team-bosses to dub the design the "Baked Beans Blown Diffuser". More protests are expected to take place in Monaco.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:17 pm 
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egnat69 wrote:
ohh... wait... what about:

BREAKING NEWS!!! Mercedes sells struggling F1 team to HOW .


:thumbup:

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Disclaimer: The above post maybe tongue in cheek.

"I thought I'd get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual."


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:37 pm 
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Johnston wrote:
egnat69 wrote:
ohh... wait... what about:

BREAKING NEWS!!! Mercedes sells struggling F1 team to HOW .


:thumbup:

Headlines you won't read in 2013 :nod:

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:52 pm 
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HAMILTON DROPPED IN FAVOUR OF SCHUMACHER
Mercedes have shocked the F1 world with the announcement that they have agreed,by mutual consent, to part company with Lewis Hamilton ,just a week before the start of the 2013 season.
Mercedes have signed on Micheal Schumacher,who is believed to have sold his tiny island in dubai in order to fund for the seat.Mercedes say they have taken this move in order to maintain their future stability.
A source close to hamilton said,"Lewis is secretly happy.Apparently Alonso convinced him to leave the team and promised that he would be his teammate at ferrari next season.
Alonso was unavailable for comment .He was last seen doing cartwheels and doing a strange dance involving wings at ferrari's maranello base.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:16 pm 
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Won't be read:

Michael Schumacher admits to intentionally punting Hill off the track in the '94 title decider.

or that the Rascasse incident wasn't an honest driving error

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:43 pm 
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"ALONSO NO LONGER BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD" by A. Benson


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:59 pm 
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MARUSSIA AND CATERHAM TO CEASE CAR DEVELOPMENT
Marussia and Caterham have decided to stop car development in favour of shifting their budgets to employ paid drivers.

_________________
How to fix F1:
1. Stop seeking consensuses on rules - it will always turn out to be the least favourible option for everyone involved...
2. Listen to the fans - there are plenty of them and they have good ideas...


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:01 pm 
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Alienturnedhuman wrote:
"ALONSO NO LONGER BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD" by A. Benson



Don't you mean.

Schui the greatest ever, All 7 Titles were Deserved.
A. Benson.

Or

It should have been 8
A. Benson.

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Disclaimer: The above post maybe tongue in cheek.

"I thought I'd get your theories, mock them, then embrace my own. The usual."


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:52 pm 
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Lewis Hamilton : World Champion

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Sebastien Vettel, the youngest driver ever to have the fastest car in F1 for four consecutive years


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:59 pm 
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EJ to don Bob
- After years of his lonely 3 wigs, Eddie Jordan has added a few more to be worn when on pundit duties around the world, including the always dashing 'bob' and the slightly more obscure 'dreadlocks'.

"My crotch hurts"
- Nope, its not herpes, DC finally admits his trousers are just a bit too tight.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:04 pm 
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MALDONADO VOTED 'MR F1'
- A female fans group has voted Pastor Maldonado as their 'sexiest driver of 2013'. Maldonado beat off strong competition from Sebastian Buemi and Paul Di Resta.

MASSA SPLASHES TO VICTORY IN THE BAHRAIN RAIN

_________________
Pick 10 Competition:
2013 - 10th Place - Winner of the Nico Hulkenberg Trophy and Mystic Eddie Jordan's Crystal Ball
2014 - 9th Place - Winner of the Nico Hulkenberg Trophy


Pick 10 Podiums:
1st Place: USA 2012, Japan 2013
3rd Place: China 2014


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:00 pm 
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Johnston wrote:
Alienturnedhuman wrote:
"ALONSO NO LONGER BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD" by A. Benson



Don't you mean.

Schui the greatest ever, All 7 Titles were Deserved.
A. Benson.

Or

It should have been 8
A. Benson.

I did think of going the Schumacher route. Or something like "Alonso fails to deliver on Ferrari F2013's incredible potential" -A Benson


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:49 pm 
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MARKO CLAIMS VETTEL IS OVERRATED


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:17 pm 
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"EDDIE JORDAN STRINGS TOGETHER A PERFECTLY COHERENT SENTENCE"

"BBC ANNOUNCES PLANS TO GET IT'S GRAND PRIX PROGRAMMES ONTO THE IPLAYER WITHIN 48 HOURS OF THE PROGRAMME ACTUALLY FINISHING"

"MERCEDES ADMIT THEIR CONTINUED SUCCESS IS DOWN TO HAVING 4 DIFFERENT ENGINEERS DESIGNING THEIR VALVE CAPS"


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:38 pm 
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Sam Michael - "I am going to do McLaren what I did to Williams, and it's already started"


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 7:37 am 
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Some more ;).

"MERCEDES TO SHIFT ALL THEIR ATTENTION ON 2014 CAR"
After securing 2nd and 3rd place respectively by Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg in season opener, the Australian GP, Mercedes team principal Ross Brawn decided, that the 2013 car is a "massive disappointment" and that it will be better to concentrate on 2014 car design as "nothing good can be achieved with 2013 design" as it is flawed from the very beginning.

"ONE RACE BAN FOR KIMI RAIKKONEN FOR TOUCHING ANOTHER CAR IN THE MALAYSIAN GP"
Stewards decided, that Kimi's attempt to pass Fernando Alonso on lap 16 of the Malaysian GP was "too optimistic" which ended in both cars slightly touching each other, both continued without more damage. Stewards state, that it MAY have ended in a big crash and that if they not penalise for that kind of accidents early enough, this may lead to more severe consequences in the future. "The drivers must know where is the line they can not cross" - we read in the stewards decision. Meanwhile, stewards did not take any further action against Romain Grosjean which was involved in yet another 1st lap incident, which saw 6 cars retiring including Felipe Massa, Sebastian Vettel and Lewis Hamilton.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 7:44 am 
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phyz wrote:
MARKO CLAIMS VETTEL IS OVERRATED


VETTEL CLAIMS MARKO IS OVERRATED.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 3:08 pm 
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Button gets one race ban for being too aggressive
Says he doesn't care, for once he found grip.



Raikkonen misses Schumacher.
When asked, 'Do you miss Schumacher?'. He said 'Maybe, Maybe not'.




Hamilton doesn't want Nicole in the garage during race weekends.
Says he is losing sponsors as Nicole gets more camera time.




Alonso and RedBull boss exchange cards on Friendship day.
Alonso blocks Webber and lets Vettel through on last lap to take the victory as a sign of respect to Marko.




Hamilton says Vettel is the best not Alonso
Alonso says Vettel is the best and not Hamilton.




Massa "for sure" demands more respect from Ferrari. Ferrari extend contract by 2 more years.



Flavio to replace Domenicalli.
Alonso says he had nothing to do with it.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:09 pm 
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Vettel; 'Red Bull Car is a dog'
Red Bull admits clever Flexi-wings
Horner tells Vettel; 'it's rude to point'
McLaren have race with no feck ups
Marussia stop develoment to allow others to catch up
Caterham wins at Monza
Mercedes win race in style
Bernie has HRT


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:18 pm 
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Bernie gives away free tickets for fans to races!

"I don't need the money" says Billionaire

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PF1 Pick 10 Competition

2013: 12th
2014: 38th


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:59 pm 
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BrazilLastCorner2008 wrote:
Bernie gives away free tickets for fans to races!

"I don't need the money" says Billionaire

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

opens the door to another one:

BERNIE AND HUGH CHANGE ROLES
Billionaires Bernie Ecclestone and Hugh Hefner will switch life (including wifes) for 2013 with an option for 2014

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How to fix F1:
1. Stop seeking consensuses on rules - it will always turn out to be the least favourible option for everyone involved...
2. Listen to the fans - there are plenty of them and they have good ideas...


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