edit: and blinky, i just read your post further up. I think people like you are very brave and full of life which is a tonic to others
Thanks TG, but I don't think of myself in such a manner. I was in a situation where the decisions were simple, and unavoidable. The fun part is what I have mentioned in my previous post was just chapter one of maybe a ten chapter book. And the truly nasty crap happened later. Real nasty. I'll get into a bit of chapter two just to continue the philosophy of "just hang in there, it will get better". Even that was mild stuff compared to what happened later.
After the initial operation massive infection set in because a leak developed in my intestine. The doctors gave me a CAT scan and two hours later I was in emergency surgery. This one wasn't neat and clean, it was more like Freddy Kruger with a chain saw. And during the operation I lost vital signs twice, and they had to bring me back. I'll get to that later. When I woke up I thought I was on the battleship Bismarck, that's how f--ked up I was. I spent a few days in intensive care, but my white blood count remained high, and I since the doctors suspected more infection, back to the CAT scan machine. They discovered two massive pools of infection near and under my liver, and decided to install drains right there and then. The doctor set up an impromptu operating theater right there and froze my side just like a doctor, and started to punch this probe into my side. Since it was near my liver, he had to stop every few centimeters, leave, have the CAT machine scan me, check the route, and continue on. It had to be done somewhere about five times for each probe/drain, and took almost an hour.
And the point? Sometimes you're in a situation that you just have to endure. You can cry and wallow in self pity, or just grit your teeth, and tell yourself that one day it will get better.
In this wonderful world there is little I can control. I can't control how others feel and think, heck, I can't even control my wife's mouth (jk). But what I can control is how I deal and act. That is the one thing I can control, how I think, what I say, how I feel.
Now, I mentioned that I died twice in the operating room, and for some, a very good reason to freakout. How do I look at it? I get a free Birthday.
Not many people get the chance to celebrate their birthday, and now I have the opportunity to demand sex twice a year from my wife, oops, I mean, have a party. (just joking... )
There's an old saying that "every cloud has a silver lining", and the idea is to seek out and latch onto the positive aspects, instead of perpetually going over and over the pain and crap. What happened happened, but how I deal with it and place it in my memory is something I control, and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I choose to enjoy life.