Saz wrote:
Noticed that I work in aviation and yet have not posted any aviation jokes. This must be rectified.
Q. What's the difference between a Jet Engine and a Flight Attendant?
A. The Jet Engine stops whining at the end of the flight
Q. What's the difference between God and Fighter Pilot.
A. God doesn't think he's a Fighter Pilot
Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an aircraft
A little boy and his mother are on an aircraft. The boys says "mummy, if mommy and daddys can make babie, and mommy and daddy doggies make babies, how do mommy and daddy airplanes make babies?"
The mother says "I don't know, why don't you ask the pilot".
So the little boy goes to the pilot and asks him his question, and the pilot says "Our Airplanes don't make babies because we're Southwest Airlines and we pull out on time."
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off.
The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb.He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?
The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!' The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, used the toilet, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'
Moral of the Story
When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem a good thing!
When you get older & smarter - comfort & dull is not such a bad thing!
The Ex-wife worked in the medical field and I've heard the 2nd one many times applied to doctors.
Any way the aviation jokes remind me of this anecdote from a book written by the pilot of an SR-71. Name of the book is "Sled Driver."
Quote:
One day, high above Arizona, we were monitoring the radio traffic of all the mortal airplanes below us. First, a Cessna pilot asked the air traffic controllers to check his ground speed. ‘Ninety knots,’ ATC replied. A twin Bonanza soon made the same request. ‘One-twenty on the ground,’ was the reply. To our surprise, a navy F-18 came over the radio with a ground speed check. I knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he had a ground speed indicator in his cockpit, but he wanted to let all the bug-smashers in the valley know what real speed was. ‘Dusty 52, we show you at 620 on the ground,’ ATC responded.
The situation was too ripe. I heard the click of Walter’s mike button in the rear seat. In his most innocent voice, Walter startled the controller by asking for a ground speed check from 81,000 feet, clearly above controlled airspace. In a cool, professional voice, the controller replied, ‘Aspen 20, I show you at 1,982 knots on the ground.’ We did not hear another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast.